As a subordinate
I have probably lost as many points as I have scored them on the boss' book, if there is such a book. Or there should be more than one book, whether they are related or not or whether my scores on different books would add up to a number that could bear any significance to my career prospect.
In any case, the accounting standards for the mythological book could never be clear, the bottom line being who is actually in charge. The good or ill will a person may generate on any occasion can only be subjectively interpreted. Perception counts, if not reigns entirely.
Sadly for some, optimistically for others, that's why there is always the tendency and no shortage of assiduous effort in managing perception in a corporate environment. In hindsight, if there is one weakness that I have to admit to myself now, this must be it - the capacity to manage perception. It was not the ability that I lack, but the desire to do so - I simply did not care, enough.
It's not insouciance, but self-centredness, perhaps bordering between arrogance and ignorance. Whenever one does not play ball to the rule or sing to the song sheet, of course one immediately becomes the odd man out. But the rule could have been changed and the song sheet indecipherably scribbled at any time. Who by? Well, one always needs the wisom and vigilance to detect from where the wind blows, and where to.
And if the wind blows against the direction of one's free will, that's tough, and is perhaps a true test of political intelligence and all skills of business acumen. In hindsight, if the passing mark is to get things done without upsetting people, I have had my share of failure.
Do I regret? I ask myself. Although the sour taste on afterthought is surely there, I would have to be a different person to have behaved differently, so regret is a moot point. Would I now be in a different, or even better career position had I been managing perception more consciously, if not cleverly? I also ask myself. I honestly don't think anyone on earth has the answer, or bother to have one. So I honestly couldn't care less for any fatalistic or deternimistic act bygone.
Am I a cleverer person, without necessarily surrendering my free will? That's a private judgement I have to pass on myself on individual circumstances. It takes no less wisdom to be led than to lead.
In any case, the accounting standards for the mythological book could never be clear, the bottom line being who is actually in charge. The good or ill will a person may generate on any occasion can only be subjectively interpreted. Perception counts, if not reigns entirely.
Sadly for some, optimistically for others, that's why there is always the tendency and no shortage of assiduous effort in managing perception in a corporate environment. In hindsight, if there is one weakness that I have to admit to myself now, this must be it - the capacity to manage perception. It was not the ability that I lack, but the desire to do so - I simply did not care, enough.
It's not insouciance, but self-centredness, perhaps bordering between arrogance and ignorance. Whenever one does not play ball to the rule or sing to the song sheet, of course one immediately becomes the odd man out. But the rule could have been changed and the song sheet indecipherably scribbled at any time. Who by? Well, one always needs the wisom and vigilance to detect from where the wind blows, and where to.
And if the wind blows against the direction of one's free will, that's tough, and is perhaps a true test of political intelligence and all skills of business acumen. In hindsight, if the passing mark is to get things done without upsetting people, I have had my share of failure.
Do I regret? I ask myself. Although the sour taste on afterthought is surely there, I would have to be a different person to have behaved differently, so regret is a moot point. Would I now be in a different, or even better career position had I been managing perception more consciously, if not cleverly? I also ask myself. I honestly don't think anyone on earth has the answer, or bother to have one. So I honestly couldn't care less for any fatalistic or deternimistic act bygone.
Am I a cleverer person, without necessarily surrendering my free will? That's a private judgement I have to pass on myself on individual circumstances. It takes no less wisdom to be led than to lead.
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