Be careful of what you ask for!
Sometimes asking questions can become an art in itself. It starts with recognizing the objectives - which can be searching for an answer, getting approval, stimulating thoughts, insinuating the opponent, as well as simply exuding a sentiment, like "why me?!"
With the objective clear, one needs to know what questions to ask. It may sound silly, but you do not know what you do not know. So one may not necessarily know the right questions to ask in order to get the answers in a problem-solving process.
But sometimes it is not the question itself, but how the question is asked which may determine the response it elicits. Because there are indeed many ways to get to the truth - if there is a truth - and it depends on which part of the whole truth one wants to reveal that one may design a question accordingly.
In particular, if you are asking for an approval for something and you do not want to get a no for an answer, you better frame the question in such a way which almost certainly eliminates the chances of getting any negative response. Otherwise, do not ask the question, because once a person said no, it would be very difficult if not impossible for her to refute her own judgement and reverse her position again - it would mean losing face.
But is it not true that you will almost certainly not get what you do not ask for, and the downside of asking is at most just getting turned down, which will not make you worse off than before you ask the question? That is true for asking for a favour, a date, a pay rise or anything or any position one wants to obtain. But all these mean asking for a commitment of some kind from a counter-party, which is surely expected to be reciprocated sooner or later, and in one way or another. Before asking, therefore, beware of what you will get.
And if you have to get certain things done but are not sure whether you can get the endorsement you think you need, sometimes you may just have to get on with it and live with the consequence, because it may be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
With the objective clear, one needs to know what questions to ask. It may sound silly, but you do not know what you do not know. So one may not necessarily know the right questions to ask in order to get the answers in a problem-solving process.
But sometimes it is not the question itself, but how the question is asked which may determine the response it elicits. Because there are indeed many ways to get to the truth - if there is a truth - and it depends on which part of the whole truth one wants to reveal that one may design a question accordingly.
In particular, if you are asking for an approval for something and you do not want to get a no for an answer, you better frame the question in such a way which almost certainly eliminates the chances of getting any negative response. Otherwise, do not ask the question, because once a person said no, it would be very difficult if not impossible for her to refute her own judgement and reverse her position again - it would mean losing face.
But is it not true that you will almost certainly not get what you do not ask for, and the downside of asking is at most just getting turned down, which will not make you worse off than before you ask the question? That is true for asking for a favour, a date, a pay rise or anything or any position one wants to obtain. But all these mean asking for a commitment of some kind from a counter-party, which is surely expected to be reciprocated sooner or later, and in one way or another. Before asking, therefore, beware of what you will get.
And if you have to get certain things done but are not sure whether you can get the endorsement you think you need, sometimes you may just have to get on with it and live with the consequence, because it may be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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