Excuses Suck!
Yesterday I found what I wrote over two years ago in one of my little note pads, dated 21 Apr 2008:
Why do people lie? More specifically, why do golfers lie about the number of strokes? Of course I know the answer. I can feel for it, because I did the same every now and then.
The simple answer is that, subconsciously, we believe that we should be somebody better than who we really are. By discounting the number of strokes consumed for a disastrous hole by one or two, for example, one naively believes that the cruel reality was simply a distorted reflection of ones true self and should, therefore, be arbitrarily rectified. As the shame of failure to live up to ones expectation outweighs the guilt of manipulating the outcome of performance, one is prepared to be indulged in illusion and false redemption.
In fact a person's subconscious and inherent sense of his ideal self can be so profound that he spontaneously manoeuvers outcomes to suit himself, even in the absence of any onlooker - like a lone golfer counting and recording strokes on his score card which should have been, instead of what really is the case.
Actually, I have edited my original thoughts somewhat. All the same, I feel refreshed.
We hate it when we made mistakes. Intuitively, we refuse to accept reality and, spontaneously, we gear ourselves up with finding excuses. We get hung up with the ideal outcome and find it hard to let go of what should have been.
The problem with denial and self-delusion is that they are prohibitive of learning. Deception drains energy and blurs focus, which should be fixed on understanding why the mistakes were made in the first place and how they could be avoided in the future, i.e., learning the true lesson.
The lessons:
Don't just see what you like to see. Face up to the objective reality - as defined by indisputable facts - for good or bad, beautiful or ugly.
Stop beating yourself to death over mistakes which you think you should not have committed. It's done, learn it, move on. (Of course, in case of any serious damage, one should also make amend before moving on.)
Why do people lie? More specifically, why do golfers lie about the number of strokes? Of course I know the answer. I can feel for it, because I did the same every now and then.
The simple answer is that, subconsciously, we believe that we should be somebody better than who we really are. By discounting the number of strokes consumed for a disastrous hole by one or two, for example, one naively believes that the cruel reality was simply a distorted reflection of ones true self and should, therefore, be arbitrarily rectified. As the shame of failure to live up to ones expectation outweighs the guilt of manipulating the outcome of performance, one is prepared to be indulged in illusion and false redemption.
In fact a person's subconscious and inherent sense of his ideal self can be so profound that he spontaneously manoeuvers outcomes to suit himself, even in the absence of any onlooker - like a lone golfer counting and recording strokes on his score card which should have been, instead of what really is the case.
Actually, I have edited my original thoughts somewhat. All the same, I feel refreshed.
We hate it when we made mistakes. Intuitively, we refuse to accept reality and, spontaneously, we gear ourselves up with finding excuses. We get hung up with the ideal outcome and find it hard to let go of what should have been.
The problem with denial and self-delusion is that they are prohibitive of learning. Deception drains energy and blurs focus, which should be fixed on understanding why the mistakes were made in the first place and how they could be avoided in the future, i.e., learning the true lesson.
The lessons:
Don't just see what you like to see. Face up to the objective reality - as defined by indisputable facts - for good or bad, beautiful or ugly.
Stop beating yourself to death over mistakes which you think you should not have committed. It's done, learn it, move on. (Of course, in case of any serious damage, one should also make amend before moving on.)
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