The Paradox of Excuses
I wrote that "excuses suck" not too long ago. But as life is so full of paradoxes, excuses also serve some practical purposes - allowing people to step down from situations of predicament not too awkwardly.
We see that so often in politics, in the corporate world, as well as in private life.
People with true wisdom of course don't need excuses to conceal mistakes. They simply live up to who they are. But then they may also have to deploy clever excuses to help conceal the mistakes of others and steer them to see things in the correct light.
Indeed a person needs not tell someone else is wrong explicitly even though the truth - assuming there is the truth - clearly says so. More often than not, accusation will only invite defense, which immediately inhibits any possibility of learning. It's always better to start with acknowledging the others thinking, warming up the context, ensuring all hatchets down, before spreading your own bandwidth to induce alignment.
By nature of psychology, of course, there are always people who simply see themselves as victims of other people's faults whenever problems are encountered. They spontaneously need excuses to evade from all senses of responsibility. Applying the same logic of no accusation, when you happen to be at the receiving end of such an abusive excuse, counter-intuitively, don't fight but embrace it and help the person out - both from the situation of predicament and the trap of ignorance.
We see that so often in politics, in the corporate world, as well as in private life.
People with true wisdom of course don't need excuses to conceal mistakes. They simply live up to who they are. But then they may also have to deploy clever excuses to help conceal the mistakes of others and steer them to see things in the correct light.
Indeed a person needs not tell someone else is wrong explicitly even though the truth - assuming there is the truth - clearly says so. More often than not, accusation will only invite defense, which immediately inhibits any possibility of learning. It's always better to start with acknowledging the others thinking, warming up the context, ensuring all hatchets down, before spreading your own bandwidth to induce alignment.
By nature of psychology, of course, there are always people who simply see themselves as victims of other people's faults whenever problems are encountered. They spontaneously need excuses to evade from all senses of responsibility. Applying the same logic of no accusation, when you happen to be at the receiving end of such an abusive excuse, counter-intuitively, don't fight but embrace it and help the person out - both from the situation of predicament and the trap of ignorance.
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