Small Enlightenment

It hurts when you know fairly sure that someone is trying to evade you, that he is making an effort to avoid even the shortest of eye contact, even though you are not particularly fond of this person now. 

It hurts even more once you recall that this very person who is snubbing you is the same person who used to greet you warmly in social occasions, someone whom you can go back a long way to trace history of commonality in career background and mutual understanding, and even mutual recognition of the honorable status as friendship confers. 

You cannot help but ask yourself what wrong have you done to this person to deserve this cold treatment. But as far as you are concerned, you have done no more possible damage, if at all, than a dent in ego and pride, in some distant past, out of absolutely no ill will but your forthright and challenging style perhaps too remote from his taste. But you know you aroused contempt nonetheless. Whatever your justification for action was, your convicted cause became irrelevant, because it was in direct conflict with his, and the bottom line being: he was in charge, not you.

Perhaps it was just you being sensitive, that he really did not notice you - though you turned your head round to look over to his direction from no more than a couple of yards away but for more than a couple of times - and recent encounters, though brief, were on reasonably courteous terms and in fairly amicable ambience. 

After all, does it matter either way? True, it does not and should not matter, unless it arouses a sense of disillusion about yourself - are you perhaps intrinsically handicapped by character, if not necessarily contemptible?

No, why should you bother? If relationship seems fickle and fragile, because it is. Just make and keep peace with yourself. Resort to the four agreements. Keep your good faith in your words and behavior.

True, I should not have even written this post. But, thanks to the thought of the four agreements - which only came after I started writing this post - here comes awakening. To me, he remains a friend after all.