Stress
There are many sources of stress, at work and outside it, that I find it's hard to generalize its causes and impact. People have different attitudes to stress and, no doubt, different ways of coping with it.
To me, I see two major enemies to my peace of mind: 1) craving; 2) getting hung up with "what could have been".
I rarely crave for materialistic gains but could be afflicted with the desire for recognition, particularly in the form of career progression. As a source of vanity, I would also crave for sticking to a certain form, particularly of my own outlook. Basically, every now and then, I may fall victim to my own ego self and become mentally wound up when what I perceive does not quite match my expectation of how things should be.
It could hurt particularly bad whenever I scrutinize my own action in hindsight - what I have said or have not said, what I have done or have not done - over a course of decision-making process, and feel suddenly awakened that it could have turned out in a way I want it to be, had I said or done certain things, or not said or done certain things. Of course this sense of awakening could be just an illusion, the truth and falsehood of which I could never possibly ascertain in any case. But once I got into this vicious circle of self-interrogation, it felt like a pall of misery all over the place with no way out. Migraine might strike.
But I believe recognizing the sources of stress is the first critical step in fighting against it. I also believe in the wisdom of Buddhism for severing all afflictions which, however, takes a lot of practice for ones perseverance to start working.
As to fighting against the painful sense of what could have been, I sometimes imagine it may be best to consult those world-class athletes who were just hair-pin away to their coveted glory of victory, eg, just within the past three months:
Rocco Mediate, who fell victim to the familiar outcome of losing to Tiger Woods in the first hole of sudden-death playoff in the US Open, after putting on a brave fight through 90 holes;
Roger Federer, who was a break-point away for more than once in the final match to the glory of 6 Wimbledon wins in a row, but only to be outlasted by his unstoppable opponent - Rafael Nadal;
John Cook, who had been leading throughout the Senior British Open for most of the 72 holes and was 3 shorts ahead with only 8 holes to play, only to be matched by hard-headed Bruce Vaughan in the end to force a playoff, and cruelly beaten by him in the first playoff hole.
How could these heroes cope with the cruelty of second-place finish, when victory seemed so very close just before the fatal end, which could have been had in all likelihood but for a stroke of good luck?!
The fact of matter is that they all move on, and continue battling wholeheartedly in their respective fields. The pain must have struck hard, but could only reach so deep, and no further.
Indeed after so much self-interrogation, the only way out is to move on with my life.
To me, I see two major enemies to my peace of mind: 1) craving; 2) getting hung up with "what could have been".
I rarely crave for materialistic gains but could be afflicted with the desire for recognition, particularly in the form of career progression. As a source of vanity, I would also crave for sticking to a certain form, particularly of my own outlook. Basically, every now and then, I may fall victim to my own ego self and become mentally wound up when what I perceive does not quite match my expectation of how things should be.
It could hurt particularly bad whenever I scrutinize my own action in hindsight - what I have said or have not said, what I have done or have not done - over a course of decision-making process, and feel suddenly awakened that it could have turned out in a way I want it to be, had I said or done certain things, or not said or done certain things. Of course this sense of awakening could be just an illusion, the truth and falsehood of which I could never possibly ascertain in any case. But once I got into this vicious circle of self-interrogation, it felt like a pall of misery all over the place with no way out. Migraine might strike.
But I believe recognizing the sources of stress is the first critical step in fighting against it. I also believe in the wisdom of Buddhism for severing all afflictions which, however, takes a lot of practice for ones perseverance to start working.
As to fighting against the painful sense of what could have been, I sometimes imagine it may be best to consult those world-class athletes who were just hair-pin away to their coveted glory of victory, eg, just within the past three months:
Rocco Mediate, who fell victim to the familiar outcome of losing to Tiger Woods in the first hole of sudden-death playoff in the US Open, after putting on a brave fight through 90 holes;
Roger Federer, who was a break-point away for more than once in the final match to the glory of 6 Wimbledon wins in a row, but only to be outlasted by his unstoppable opponent - Rafael Nadal;
John Cook, who had been leading throughout the Senior British Open for most of the 72 holes and was 3 shorts ahead with only 8 holes to play, only to be matched by hard-headed Bruce Vaughan in the end to force a playoff, and cruelly beaten by him in the first playoff hole.
How could these heroes cope with the cruelty of second-place finish, when victory seemed so very close just before the fatal end, which could have been had in all likelihood but for a stroke of good luck?!
The fact of matter is that they all move on, and continue battling wholeheartedly in their respective fields. The pain must have struck hard, but could only reach so deep, and no further.
Indeed after so much self-interrogation, the only way out is to move on with my life.
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